Stoic Secrets: How to Cure Anxiety
"We suffer more often in imagination than in reality," Seneca says.
“You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” Those are words from the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius, the Roman Emperor and Stoic philosopher. The ancient Stoics had plenty to say about how to cope with anxiety, which is an unfortunate but inevitable part of the human condition. The Stoics taught a number of mental strategies for minimizing and dealing with stress.
Think big!
Have you ever been so worried about something, such that you can’t think about anything else? Are you paralyzed by fear? Well, the Stoics have a solution. Stop overthinking! It is hurting you badly. Whatever problem is bothering you, imagine yourself overcoming it. You can do it! Bold thoughts lead to bold action. “The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts,” Marcus tells us. The reverse is true, too. Weak thoughts lead to weak actions. If you can’t imagine yourself successful, then you’ll never be.
Live for today
These days, everyone’s worried about everything. Everyone has generalized anxiety. They are fearful of everything, paranoid about everything. They take no risks. They are living anxious and depressed in their mother’s basement. Unfortunately, many young people are suffering from this mental health crisis. But the Stoics again have a solution. They teach us not to be worried about things that are outside of our control. Forgot the future! Forgot things that you cannot possibly control. Instead, focus on what you can do right now. Right as you are reading this article. Live for the present, live for today. “True happiness is to enjoy the present without anxious dependence upon the future,” Seneca once wrote. In order to be happy, the Stoics realized, you have to feel powerful. You have to overcome your life’s problems. You cannot control the outcome, but there is always one thing you can control: yourself. Start with even a very small task, and focus your entire energy on it. Even a small “W” will give you strength. Stoicism is all about focus. It is not about suppressing your thoughts, but rather to manage them well. You can never truly stop yourself from overthinking. But what you can do is redirect your focus toward productive goals, rather than being anxious for no reason. That is called discipline.
Be comfortable with pain
The Stoics teach us to have a “stiff upper lip.” This means being consistent in our thoughts and actions, despite suffering and discomfort. Your comfort zone is your prison. It prevents you from taking the difficult steps to achieve your dreams. “The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing,” Marcus once said. The Stoics urge us to confront our challenges head-on. You should never avoid a tough task. By voluntarily making ourselves uncomfortable, we can learn how to better cope with pain and change. For example, you can take a cold shower. You can sleep without a pillow. You can walk to work, instead of driving. Whatever it is, anything that disrupts the tedium of your daily habits can sometimes be beneficial. It helps you become more resilient, flexible, and adaptable.
Change is good
Change can be very scary. But from the Stoic perspective, change is both inevitable and sometimes necessary. Change should be seen as an opportunity for improvement and achievement. If you are unhappy with your life, make adjustments. You cannot complain about something if it is within your power to change it. If you want a hot girlfriend, start looking for one. Go to bars and clubs, and be bold enough to ask them out. If you want a high-paying job, take some time to learn valuable skills. If you want to be muscular, start working out. At first, you start with five or ten pounds. Each time, you add five pounds. All of a sudden, you’ll be lifting a good amount. You’ll create a new habit. Being unorthodox is the key to happiness and success. Break with tradition, challenge dogmas. Don’t follow the pack. Be yourself. Be a real leader. Sometimes, the best change is changing your mind. Changing your perspective. You are capable of changing not only your actions, but also your inner thoughts and beliefs. “It isn’t the things themselves that disturb people, but the judgments that they form about them,” Epictetus tells us. Change makes people anxious, but it should not. Change is an opportunity to learn, to grow, and to demonstrate your excellence. “It is difficulties that show what men are,” Epictetus observed.
You only live once
Whenever you are anxious, always remember that life is short. Nothing is really worth worrying about that much. Too often, we have unrealistic fears. These intrusive thoughts paralyze our ability to act. “We suffer more often in imagination than in reality,” Seneca tells us. In order to be happy, we have to change our ways of thinking and acting. The problem is that we are not sufficiently aware of our mortality. We are too scared to live, but too scared to die. “Most men ebb and flow in wretchedness between the fear of death and the hardships of life,” Seneca once observed. “They are unwilling to live, and yet they do not know how to die.” Much of our anxiety comes from this false and dangerous belief. We think we will live forever. We think that our problems are the biggest deal in the world, but they are not! “What you fear is either insignificant or short-lived,” Seneca advises us. We waste so much time worrying, when we should be out living. “We are not given a short life, but we make it short,” Seneca complained. “We are not ill-supplied, but wasteful of it.” Our worries are not worth it, because life is short anyway. So make the best of it! Don’t be worried about death or future troubles. The only thing that matters is living a meaningful life.
Don’t fear failure
Many times, people don’t attempt hard tasks because they are afraid to fail. Don’t be afraid to fail! It is not the outcome that counts; it is your effort. Focus on your efforts, not your goals. Why? Because life’s results are often out of our control anyway. We can’t choose to find the perfect girlfriend, or the fastest car, or the highest-paying job. But we can certainly make the effort to acquire those desirable things. Some things are just worth doing for their own sake, even if you end up failing. It’s the thrill of the hunt that counts. When we think this way, it liberates us. It allows us to pursue our dreams, without the crippling fear of failure. Focus on what you can do right now. The chips will fall where they may.
Gratitude
Are you dissatisfied with your life? It’s probably because you are too focused on the negative things. Instead, we ought to count our blessings. We should always see the bright side of life. Having a positive attitude is not just a cliche. Many studies have demonstrated that positive thinking makes us more resilient, flexible, and happier. Every day, remember all the things that make you happy. Keep those things in mind. Don’t worry about the future, enjoy the present. That is called gratitude. Gratitude is not just a fleeting feeling; it is an inner disposition, which requires constant practice. You need to put in daily effort to cultivate gratitude as a habit.
Ignore others’ opinions
“If you want to improve,” Epictetus tells us, “be content to be thought foolish and stupid.” Anxiety is often caused by the fear of humiliation. We are always afraid of what other people will think. But who cares what others think? For a truly reflective person, criticism is a good thing. It helps us to improve ourselves. Every criticism of ourselves is either true or false. If it is false, then we shouldn’t care. We know it is false, and that is sufficient. And if the criticism is true, it is simply an opportunity to grow and maximize your potential. Or at the very least, you can be at peace with yourself. You can stoically accept that you are imperfect. That is much more admirable than kowtowing to the opinions of others.
Baby steps
Want to be a millionaire? Want to be a rich and powerful CEO? Want to rule the world? All of these thoughts sound outlandish at first. But no one is ever born into success. Some people are more fortunate than others, but true success is the result of a person’s merits, not their circumstances. To achieve anything great, you have to start at the bottom. There is nothing wrong with that. You have to think big, and then take small steps toward achieving your vision. To achieve your dreams, it takes time. Don’t give up. Whether it is work, relationships, or social status, everything in life starts with baby steps. It is the journey itself—the obstacles, the hardships, the difficulties—which makes our life worth living at all. “The impediment to action advances action,” Marcus Aurelius encourages us. “What stands in the way becomes the way.”